Healing—-Part of healing comes in how we see certain experiences. We can see our own experiences in a variety of ways. For example – Maybe you were coerced into placing your child for adoption or child protective services took your child or children out of your care. Your frame of reference or the way you view adoption is definitely going to be influenced by that experience.
Now let’s say you chose to place your child for adoption by no pressure of any one else but you -knowing it was the best decision for your child’s future. Your frame of reference or the way you view adoption is definitely going to be influenced by that experience.
The same is true on a daily level.
How you “see” each day can be influenced by what stuff was left unhealed in your life.
Stuff like abuse needs to be healed . This is in addition to the loss an adoption decisions carries with it.
When you’re in the healing stage it’s important to separate the other voices we attach to our experiences. Voices like ” I am all alone”. Maybe this voice started because you did feel all alone when you went through this difficult process. You may have been literally all alone. As a result you might struggle with always feeling like you’re always on your own or you can’t trust or depend on anybody.
That kind of stuff can stunt future healthy relationships.
It’s important to heal it. One way is to remind yourself that ONE experience even if traumatic is not ALL of your experiences both now and to come.
Take EACH experience and LOOK at it through different “frames” or points of view. For example: ” I may have been alone THEN but today I have healthy support systems in my life and I KNOW I am not alone.”
“I can reach out and others are there for me.”
What if this isn’t true for you and there is no one healthy in your life? Then part of healing needs to include opening yourself up to healthy people and reaching out in the right places to those you can trust with your healing.
I’m learning and healing too…Healing IS possible. One day at a time or if needed minute by minute. I’m here if you need me. Sending Love to you that need it. <3 <3