The Choice

Our lives irrevocably changed 4 years ago.

Not just ours, but theirs also.

A choice made out of pure love resulted in a new family.

Sadly along with the happiness came sorrow and grief.

For every example of their love is an equal example of loss.

We have it more fortunate than some though. Watching you grow, learn, and explore this vast world, in clips and brief glimpses.

Still, we remember when we heard him say our names the 1st time.

The giggles from his nonsensical jokes bring our hearts joy.

But with every wonderful visit, the ride home is heavy, tearful.

Letting go again.

I don’t get to feel remorse, I have to be strong for her.

Part of me wishes it didn’t have to be this way. Things have changed so much since we made this decision.

But the choice is what made a change.

The choice was the inspiration for higher education.

The choice was an inspiration for a change of career.

And without the choice,

who knows where we would be.

I think I do know you are so loved by his Moms and his now family. They gave him things we couldn’t at the time. They expose him to things he wouldn’t be with us.

And most importantly we are all family, his now family, his birth family… His very large and loving family.

For all the pain, that is the real reason for the choice.

By Thomas Castleberry

Birth father

Thomas and his wife placed their son Graham for adoption. As a birth father, Thomas expresses his journey through poetry. They even started a group for birth fathers on Facebook and when he is not busy writing, You can find him here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/346483042449985/

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