“The Reasons Why My Open Adoption Relationship Works.”
By Roanne Olsen
I placed my birth son into an open adoption 17 years ago. Our experience has been amazing. We worked hard at our relationship. I met his parents a couple of months before my birth son was born. I knew his mom was meant to be his mom the first time I talked to her on the phone. I could hear the love in her voice. The first time we met, his parents shared pictures of their house and dog with me. They also asked all about my life.
At the time I didn’t know what to expect or ask for in an open adoption. I asked for one visit a year on his birthday. They blew my expectations away. I was invited to their house once a month to spend a few hours with them. We treated each other as people and always put the child’s needs before our own. Over the years we grew to become a family. We have cookouts, they attend my son’s birthday party, we spend Christmas Eve at their house. They were at my wedding, my birth son was my ring bearer. We text, call and visit each other when ever possible. My birth son goes with my family to the mall, the zoo, the arcade. I have always said that my open adoption was my first marriage.
The day I placed I united two families into one. They not only opened their hearts and their home to my birth son but also to all of my family. We think of each other every day. They have always spoiled me on Birth Mother’s Day. For a few years now I have spent Birth Mother’s Day with my birth son and my son, just the three of us go out and spend a few hours playing and then have dinner. Last year I treated his mom out to lunch on Birth Mother’s Day so I could honor her just like she honors me.
Last year I was given a card with the following message: ‘You will forever have a special place in our hearts and in our lives. We are family always & forever.’ They are my family and I love them all unconditionally. I know that they will always be in my life.