Regardless of the number of years that pass some memories linger crystal clear.
Pooh Bear, Paint, and Promises.
I was 15 years old and in the dining room of our home in Massapequa, NY when I got the news. The dining room walls were lined with mirrors. I can still see my reflection in them as my family doctor spoke to me on the telephone.
“Kim…It’s Dr. Laflare.” The same doctor who almost threw me out of his office a few months back when I came racing in the office to get my weekly allergy shot in a soaking wet bathing suit. Those days were over now. I wouldn’t be wearing any bathing suits in public for a while.
“Kim…You need to come to my office and see me. You are pregnant.”
I don’t remember anything else from that day except for looking at my reflection in those mirrors and knowing things were never going to be the same again. Not Ever.
I was 15 and pregnant. I didn’t know anyone else aside from married adults who had gotten pregnant. Most of the kids my age were having sex but no one I knew had ever gotten pregnant.
MTV was just coming out and Teen Mom was not one of their big hit television shows.
I had no idea what I was going to do. Some people suggested I get an abortion. My boyfriend was adamant against that and gave me detailed pictures to deter me from that option. After a while, we decided we were going to raise this child. We would live in his mom’s basement. We picked out the paint colors and invited all of our friends. They were enlisted to help us make a suitable apartment for our child.
It was decided. We would-be parents. Full steam ahead. My boyfriend promised his support and loyalty and I clung to it. His sister had bought us some adorable Winnie the pooh clothes and for a short time, for a few brief moments, I felt safe, supported and secure in our plan.
Going to school was rough. No one had ever been pregnant. I felt like wearing a paper bag over my head after a while. EVERYONE was talking about me. Or so I felt but more likely than not, they were talking about me.
Eventually, Berner High School decided it was in everyone’s best interest if I disappeared for a while.
-To be continued.