Narcissist Birth Son

Dear Birthmother,

My son came back, after 26 years. He has been back in our lives for 3 years. We struggle because we think he is a narcissist. On top of that he has been extremely rude to me. One struggle is what to do when your child comes back but you find him hard to like and sometimes hard to love?

Signed, Struggling to Love

Dear Struggling,

Thank you for writing. You’re not alone in your feelings. I meet many birth moms who have to deal with adult drug dependent/ alcoholic children and various other undesirable traits. You have to deal with it in the same way you do with the adult child you raised everyday. You have to set boundaries for yourself and the way that you allow your son to speak to you. You cannot allow guilt of the past to control how you allow others to treat you in the present. You remain open and available in the relationship but you have your limits and boundaries. xoxoxo

Much Love,
Birth mother