Meet Carrie, who grew up knowing she was adopted and had the benefit of knowing her birth family throughout her early years.
Carrie, having grown up in an open adoption relationship were you always aware of your adoption story?
“I always knew my story. I had a book called “Why was I Adopted” that was my fave book when I was little.
I was 6-ish years old when I finally understood what adoption was. Of course I had questions. This made a meeting between my birth parents and my parents and me and I got to ask any question I wanted and they were all answered.”
Do you think you understood the different roles your mothers had when you were younger?
“I didn’t see the roles different of my birth mom (Patty) and my mom. I got to spend time with them. I knew I was loved because I was always told. But I had to call Patty, “Patty”. It made it easier on her and my mom and me to distinguish who was who. My mom is still my mom. Patty is still Patty. I will call Patty sometimes for advice if I’m not ok with what my mom gave me and I get the same thing haha! A girl can try for a different answer right? Lol.
Growing up, I saw my birth parents (they married while they were pregnant with me and still happily married) as often as possible. Several times a year. Until my paternal grandmother got sick and they moved to Washington. Then we would visit once or twice a year. My dad owned a small company at the time so it was when he could take time off too. They all get along and love each other very much.”
Did your Birth mom and adoptive mom share a close relationship over the years?
“My mom and Patty talk regularly. My birth dad and dad talk regularly too. They have lots in common so it makes it fun for them. Not only is there the common tie of me but others as well which has only strengthened their relationship with each other.
When I would see my birth parents and it would just be us we would go to the zoo or a museum or other places.
As I got older, movies. I just recently spent a week and a half with them in January. They kicked my brother out of his room for me which I didn’t want but they wanted me to not sleep on the futon. No problems were caused. He is newly 21 and quite the bar tender so we would stay up late and have a couple of drinks and just talk. It was really awesome. My sister and I love musicals so we watched Les Miserale and Cats and Phantom. It was a fun visit. They were included in everything. They came for my 16th birthday. I always got phone calls for birthdays and Christmas. I got gifts etc.”
Did you ever struggle with the whole reality of these relationships or were they comfortable for you since you grew into them from early on?
“I don’t think I ever struggled with it. I had it pretty easy. I knew them as close family friends until I knew who they really are. And like I said I’ll reach out to try and get advice I want to be diff than what mom gave me but I end up with the exact same thing lol.”
Highlights? “Oh man, so many. I have a brother and sister who are 16 and 11 years younger than me. I thought it was AWESOME I became a big sister. Even though I grew up as a single child I know I’m a big sister. It made me mature a lot. I wanted them to be proud of me. Someone to look up to. I know my whole biological family. Cousins, aunts uncles grandparents. We are all close.”
Funny adoption facts? “I have an aunt Tammy and cousin Katie on both sides!”
Any Words of wisdom that can help those navigating the adoption relationship?
“I would want adoptees to know, even if it’s closed, you were never not wanted. Women have choices. Live and love enough to complete a family is what they chose for you. No matter how you may feel. You are Very VERY loved and don’t let anyone ever tell you differently. You know that in your heart. Believe it.
To birth parents, I want to say thank you. You’re loved. You’re thought of. You’re supported and never forgotten. Your decision for adoption came from love. And we thank you for loving us so much that you did something so hard to help another family who couldn’t have a baby.
Adoptive couples/parents, just let your babies know they were loved. They may not have come from you but they are your baby and it’s up to you how to answer to make sure your baby feels undeniable and incredible love throughout their whole life and that yes they were wanted. My parents lived in their car when they had me. That’s why they made their decision for adoption.”
“My mom and dad always said I was loved so much that God wanted me to have two huge family’s that loved me when I was little. I thought that was really awesome. I know my story is very unique.- Carrie”
“I am loved and cherished by so many people bio and adopted. It’s amazing and I wouldn’t change a thing for the world!!!!!!” -Carrie
Connect with Carrie on Facebook and learn more: Carrie’s Facebook Page