Choose Someone With Similar Values to Raise Your Child
Chances are if you are at this point in your adoption journey, you may be feeling overwhelmed with the many different things that you have to consider when choosing someone who will be raising your child.
What should you look for in a parent profile of an awaiting family?
When viewing the profiles of prospective adoptive families it can be overwhelming and you may feel both fear and excitement throughout the process. Naturally, there is a heaviness of responsibility and pressure as you, the birth mother, are faced with making a huge decision.
That is a really big deal. You might feel overwhelmed.
It is important to remind yoursef at this time that you get to ask questions, meet different people and do only that which makes you feel comfortable and cared for. Your thoughts, opinions and desires matter. The more support that you receive, the less alone and overwhelming this part of the process will feel.
Ultimately, you will make the final choices but having someone that you can express yourself to and voice your questions and feelings with will be a great help to you as you work through the thought process and come to certain important decisions.
Every person is different, therefore, every adoption experience is going to be different. You must take the time to think ahead and the responsibility to communicate effectively and ask the questions that matter the most to you. When reviewing the profiles of prospective adoptive choices for your child you will want to look deeper then the basic foundations. While there might be certain important criteria that you will want to look for right away, you also will want to make sure that you don’t limit your probing to just the general topics. After each perspective candidate has met standard criteria, such as background checks, home case studies, financial, mental and physical health, begin to dig a little deeper and ask further specific questions that are important to you.
Do not be intimidated to ask your perspective family as many questions as you need the answers to. If you feel nervous remind yourself that you are asking important questions that will affect your child’s everyday life.
Here are a few dig deeper questions to look for answers to from family profiles or to ask directly when choosing a family:
What would you say your personality type is most like? (You might list a few things like; always energetic, mellow, reflective, curious, serious, logical, quiet, nurturing, and creative)• How do you express yourself creatively? Mechanically? Logically?• What is your relationship with your extended family? Do you visit often, how often?• What kind of things do you do together as a family?• How do you celebrate the holidays?• If money was of no importance what would you be doing for a career? for a lifestyle?• How did the both of you meet?• What do you think are your wife’s greatest strengths?• What do you think are your husbandʼs greatest strengths?• What are your top 5 life values? If your relationship were to be severed how would you parent?
The values, traditions and lifestyles that your chosen adoptive family chooses to live by will dramatically affect the life that your child lives and engages in every day until he/she is of age to make their own choices. Having people who share your interest and talents ensure that if your child happens to possess similar talents, hobbies, interests and attributes he/she would be raised in an family that nurtures and stimulates such talent.
Even though, you yourself can’t raise your child at this time, you can still play a crucial role and have an active voice in the way that your child is raised and can influence his/her life by the choice that you make for their upbringing.