Dear Birth Mom,
I am thinking of you especially today on Birth Mother’s Day and sending BIG waves of love and extra kindness your way.
The media and social acknowledgment and focus on mothers may leave you questioning your role this weekend. I am here with a reminder and perhaps a new perspective.
A loving mother makes provisions for their child’s future and adoption is one of them.
When you had to make a decision for your child’s future, you made the best choice in love with what was available to you. That’s what good mothers do they make loving provisions for their child’s future. They put their needs and desires aside to provide safety and stability for the upbringing of their child.
You may have been blessed with a couple that displayed ongoing integrity and kept their commitments to both you and the child you both love so dearly.
Your child’s adoptive parents may not have upheld their obligations and worse yet they may have been bad people as tragically we find them in all areas of life. Adoption is no exception.
Maybe you chose adoption because you knew it was the best choice for your child or perhaps it was chosen for you because at that time your life was not in the best place to raise a child with the support and resources they needed. Either way, you have a child who is now being parented by another couple and it can be hard to accept especially on Mother’s Day.
This weekend might leave you feeling grief and questioning your worth and role as a mother.
The important truth to remind yourself if that at the time a choice needed to be made your intention was for the betterment of your child’s future. That’s what love does.
It chooses the “other” over the “self”.
This joint union of love came together for the betterment of a child who though he or she may not have arrived at the time you were able to parent they are very much a part of you and you a part of them. We don’t stigmatize step-mothers or divorced couples so why carry a stigma around having chosen an adoption plan for your child’s future? Just as Mother’s Day is a day to honor Mothers who are parenting a child so is Birth Mothers Day a day to honor Mothers who were unable to parent their child but made a plan for their child’s future wellbeing.
This letter is a declaration to honor you, dear birth mother, and with it a reminder that you are a good mother and that you play a very important role in the life of your child.
Free yourself from what anyone else thinks or says about you. No one can know what they would’ve been capable of doing unless they have walked the EXACT path you did and had the exact support systems and resources available to them.
Either way on this birth mom’s day I just want you to know that I see you and I believe in you. I send you BIG love and waves of hope for a brighter tomorrow. I will continue to remind you of your value and worth because it is truth and the truth is what sets us free from the lies that try to hold us in bondage.
Avalanches of Love coming your way,
Kim- walking with you in love<3